I want to invite you for an introspective reading. To those who are up to the challenge, let us face our inner child with honesty and vulnerability, as we kindly self-evaluate. Let us understand the past, so that our brokenness can be healed, and that we can act as agents of empowerment and inspiration to others. This is the birthplace of unforeseen dreams.
A meaningful life is simple and available to anyone who wants it. It does not depend on one's choice of profession, home/work environment, or cultural beliefs. It requires awareness, agency, compassion, and willingness to stand out among crowds.
Identity Timeline: The One I Had Forgotten
In my grief and loss, I reconnected with the woman I left in Brazil. I acknowledged the independence, complexity, and the beauty of knowing (remembering) who I am. Much like Danny’s life, I too have quite a story to tell. I want to briefly discuss my approach to writing throughout the remainder of the document. What do I mean? I have been a writer my whole life. My father taught me to read and write before I entered pre-school. Of course, I wrote like the small child that I was; however, I managed to start a “business selling literature.” I mean, I managed to write two and three sentence love poems on special paper. I did exchange them for candy, little treasure box toys, and occasionally for some change. I even had a place of business, on top of the playground where I met my little clients. Yes, this indeed happened. Needless to say, the short-haired, little Lu took her writing quite seriously.
I shared this little story about myself as a writer to explain how my culture and language influence how I express my thoughts and emotions, through written and spoken language. Because of the reflective and sometimes nostalgic nature of this essay, I prioritized authenticity and vulnerability of content. I am adapting my writing-style from Brazilian-Portuguese to the American format. It is my attempt to make my content accessible and clear for my American audience. My reasoning for attempting to make this distinction is to deliver clarity. This is not a professional document.
Those who know me personally, know of my late husband’s unbelievable life and death. In our relationship, Danny supported my teaching, always with his fully heated excitement. As Danny’s wife, I found pleasure in assisting him in ministry, both in Brazil and in the U.S. Danny was tenacious; he suffered unbearable physical, sexual, and emotional abuse by the hands of many. Murder, drugs and alcohol were his biological family’s day-to-day routine. At age five, he witnessed the murder of his biological father, by the hands of his mother and brothers. As a child he was adopted by a Portuguese-sociopathic couple. I want to highlight that this Portuguese-sociopathic couple were Danny’s first adopted parents and not the parents he loved so dearly. As a young adult, Danny was readopped by Gaveta and Jerry Hawkins. The Hawkins were missionaries to Brazil, in the Amazon RainForest. They are Daniel and my beloved family.
Unforeseen: The Man, His Heart, and His Story
Growing up in Brazil, my family had been quite wealthy. My father was a landowner and a man of many traits. We owned a large farm, located in a neighboring state, a local home, and a huge apartment on the beach. We had more cars than we could drive. I had everything I wanted, even my own horses. Then came the unrest caused by the Cold War. The Brazilian government and economy collapsed. The country changed from a republic to a dictatorial regime, more than two times. All we had was stolen by the National Bank of Brazil. (To pay for the national debt, they said. Sure.). Destitute, I lived in absolute poverty.
Altruists: The Role Played by Life-Experience, Perspective, and Character
The day we were born, we were given life. After our birth, the first day of our lives, God gave each one of us a new day in the form of this sunshine and the promise that there will be light after darkness. we are presented with life’s special invitation to life, our very first day of our lives, was given an of life. Each Life assigns each of us a different classroom. We might need a touch of creativity to maintain awareness of the needs of those who are brought to our lives. Sometimes, these opportunities are presented to us in the most unlikely of places and manners. In His perfection and creativity, God designs life with a sense of humor. Early or late, we all are likely to find ourselves in some unbelievable situations in life. My whole life has been a series of unforeseen events–some were amazingly good, while others were life shattering. At all times, however, I found peace and joy by reminding myself of all the wonderful unforeseen events God has sent my way.
Regarding taking action to bring happiness to those around us. There are few more rewarding community actions to be an advocate for the rights and needs of those within our world-wide communities. A small gesture can save someone’s life. We have been given individual talents and resources we can use to enrich the lives of people we might have never met yet. We should not hope to be invited to “Gratitude Ceremonies” or expect eternal alliance, as a form of being paid back for the help we give, especially churches and pastors. People are often overwhelmed by fear, hunger, discrimination, or mental health issues that may impact their ability to express their gratitude. Just know, however, that most of those we help are grateful, sometimes we can all lack some emotional intelligence to deal with all kinds of situations. Ask teachers, who work with a high-need population, how hunger, fear, and anxiety impact their students’ academic performances. You may also ask teachers about the influence of poverty within their classroom management, or the impact it has on their special education population. to kill someone’s hunger, keep another person’s power on, so that a family can find peace, instead of worrying themselves sick for not having a warm home to sleep in winter nights. , to bring help, hope and happiness to the lives of those in our those within our communities. Wow, what a powerful image! This picture took me to a place of pain, hope, and gratitude. Looking at my inner mirror, I reconnected with the persons I have been in each stage of my life–the child, the teenager, and the woman. I cannot express the pleasure it is to reclaim long forgotten dreams. It has been invigorating to find myself, face-to-face, with the girl I used to be. In my child's innocence, I dreamed of changing the world! As a teenager and young adult, I had an unquestionable belief that life is to be meaningful and that all of us are meant to love, encourage, teach, and help our communities, including those who might look, think, or speak differently from ourselves.
This little girl reminded me not only of the dreams of my childhood, but also of those who taught me how to dream. At first, growing up in Brazil, I did not understand the destructive power of poverty. I was born within a society, where poor children are seldom encouraged to seek mid or high earning professions. Most children in poverty will never dream of becoming doctors, bankers, lawyers, or other professions that could bring them a better life. Unlike the United States, Brazilian society was set up in a manner that prevented families from generational poverty from moving up in the social ladder.
My soul is filled with gratitude for the influence of amazing people who chose to see me, when I already considered myself a seemingly invisible child. They introduced me to the woman in the mirror, whom I am becoming. One example of such people was the members of the Literature Society of Writers of the state of Parana, Brazil. My love for literature took me to the streets of Curitiba, Brazil, where I sold my creative writing texts in exchange for whatever people felt like paying me. I had no other option but to walk very long distances so that I could study for college at the state library. At the time, we couldn't take the books home because there were so little of them. So, I would work a part-time job to help my mother and I would spend my whole afternoons studying, and later walking back home. It will help put in perspective how much I walked during that time, that at 43 years old, I already have two hip replacements. Within a couple of years, I am expected to have double knee replacements.
One day, after walking for several hours and many miles, I was near a bakery struggling to decide which I needed the most: something to eat or money to pay for the bus. It would save me about three to four hours walking. Keep in mind, I had walked that much to go to the library earlier in the day. This was shortly after my father died, I had a job to help my mother, but without my father’s income there was no food at home. So, indeed it was a difficult decision to make 😀. Suddenly, I looked up and to my teenager's amazement, I saw my favorite Brazilian poet, Helena Kolody. She was one of the most famous Brazilian writers. She was a sweet elderly old-lady, in her 90s, who had been a teacher her whole life. I could not help; I had to introduce myself!
She invited me to visit her and sister at her home, and offered to read my writing. She would become my literary mentor. Needless to say, I accepted the offer faster than I could speak, astonished, I understood the importance of such an opportunity. She scheduled for later that same afternoon. At that point, I chose to spend the money I had left to buy her a white rose. I was so happy! When I arrived at her apartment, she had cookies, sandwiches, drinks, and of course chocolate bom-boms. I was happy I was no longer hungry and my excitement renewed my strength to walk home. This was the first of many visits. She was an amazing woman and an incredible teacher. I did not realize at the time that creative writing was a tool for priceless lessons. She infused my soul with kindness. When she corrected my writing, it was so natural and positive that little by little, my self-confidence grew. She made me a believer….I saw myself as an intelligent and talented young lady. When she was too ill for us to keep our mentoring, I left her presence as a transformed woman.
Soon, I found myself a good paying job, for someone without a college degree. I went on working myself sick. The work schedule of a normal season was already long; however, the holiday schedule was ruthless.
if I would like to meet several famous elderly Brazilian writers. I was so spoiled. Without a formal classroom, these artists were natural teachers. Their certification was their ages. I was a teenager, unaware of the life-long lessons I was being taught. I had been sitting among the best writers of their time. a most valuable university, without walls. the most Their amazing life-long experiences and their stories of historical events. They were who guided me through my professional writing career.
I was never made to feel like a project-child who needed their pity as my salvation. They gave me their time, guidance, and eventually I became the girl in the mirror. I came to understand that dreams are achievable through hard work and good character. financial ups and down I clearly remember being told about all the things I could become when I grew up. For the first time, I knew I was seen when I was told about my talents, potential, and how I was destined to live a life outside my limited reality. Not having a mother or her guidance in times of despair, physical, and sexual abuse I faced at home. I was aware that My heart is grateful for those who understood my inability to understand a world not yet not introduced to me. Throughout my life, I have been blessed by many true educators. Some of these teachers were friends from childhood, women from work and church who guided me, when I life from a variety of backgrounds in the wild classroom of life at heart, to dream.
I also remembered the origin of my life, where and how far I have come. My success is no longer measured on the acceptance of others. I choose to forgive on judging do not know my past The weight of my past. Before I go on with my writing, I will take this paragraph to call on all those who are suffering to read this text. It is my desire that my writing will inspire hope and initiate the healing of your heart. I understand your pain and I know how valuable and loved you are. I know, without a doubt in my heart of hearts, God is real and He loves us so fearlessly and unconditionally! Regardless of how unworthy we may feel, God calls us worthy, beloved, and accepted. Do not allow the power of depression to storm your heart, like a hurricane of emotions to overwhelm our broken hearts and destroy your life. Joy will reenter your heart. You will see the sunshine on the horizon! Meanwhile, choose to hold on to life. Ask for help. You can message me or someone you love. If you cannot trust yourself, call 911–right now!
I have not been posting online for a while now. The reason for this is that I have been dedicating myself towards my physical and emotional health, as well as my spiritual growth. The last three years, since Danny died (August 17, 2021), God has taken me on a wild, yet on a life-transforming journey. God did not cause my suffering; instead, in my pain, God introduced me to His never ending love! What a joy! In the midst of desperation, suicidal idealization, and absolute loneless, I finally found myself totally powerless to live through another hour on my own. I prayed for death; however, I was given life. Unwilling to let go of the guilt of waking up another day, when Danny was dead. I feared allowing hope to enter my life again. Unable to stop the torture, I believed that my joy and hope were offensive to my loss. How could I dare to wish happiness for myself, when my love was dead. I saw my happiness as life as if hope was offensive to my loss, hoping for the better days of finding hope, and I saw mornings as a curse. It was when I had enough, and could no longer live day after day, years in sadness, emptiness, and fear . I chose to hold on to my God who did not give me the “gifted” of death, for which I begged Him every night, as I cried myself through countless sleepless nights.
I choose to and enjoy the ride! Regarding the image, I like to imagine myself as if I were in the picture with the girl, as the woman I am today. It is without judgment towards myself and others that I share my thoughts and experiences. Can you relate to the girl in the picture? What about the woman? Do we have shared experiences with either one of them? What is the message our hearts read from this picture? How do our values bring us closer to this little girl? With whom do we identify ourselves the most? Is it the child or the adult woman? Let us also consider the actions we have taken to identify and create a purposeful life for ourselves and communities. To me, this picture is personally impactful. It is exceptionally inspiring and biographical. The picture was also my mirror. Throughout my life, I found myself looking at this same mirror. This picture is empowering. Once upon a time, I was this little girl. I was blessed to have people who invested in me in such a caring and loving way. God's purpose and plan for our lives can be more wild, adventurous, rewording, and creative beyond our greatest creative abilities. I never imagined that I would move further from home than just a few miles around Curitiba, Brazil.
This is why I chose teaching. Beyond teaching content, I want to have a mentoring role as an educator. My passion lies with impacting students from socioeconomically disadvantaged backgrounds and marginalized communities. Furthermore, I strive to learn, apply, and design research-based and trauma-informed curriculum. When working with trauma-impacted students, individualized instruction and purposefully supportive student-teacher relationships are vital for truly life-changing education. Purposefully and clearly caring classroom communities are highly-influential tools, which educators can build on to facilitate emotionally-intelligent learning opportunities for trauma-impacted students. Such environments are meaningful ways to deliver life-impacting resources which are also academically-designed to enhance clinic-challenging behaviors within the classroom. When research-based pedagogical practices are used in conjunction to trauma-informed curriculum, behaviorally challenging outbursts can be manageable or even completely avoided This can be accomplished through self-reflective discussions between teachers and struggling students. Such interactions are carefully-planned, using de-escalation strategies to foster student self-understanding and the reinforcement of their sense of safety within the classroom community. Classroom communities built on trust as the base to the sense of safety. With practice, struggling students will use learned self-management skills. Hopefully, these research-based professional practices, in addition to individualized guided discussions, where the educator takes the role of a mentor. The purpose of this approach to classroom management and community development is to provide a safe environment to all students by respecting their individuality and incorporating the use of differentiated instruction throughout the academic day. Classroom meetings are carefully planned to foster students' trust, nonjudgmental relationships, and the absence of jealousy among students. This has been especially successful with young students and in classrooms with a diversity in cognition. An example would be when managing the needs of students within the autism spectrum, while in the main classroom. It is important to note that this is a research-based approach to classroom management and instructional practice is beneficial to all students and not limited to students with disabilities, or to students from economically disadvantaged backgrounds, or students with PTSD and other trauma-related difficulties. All students can benefit from a classroom environment where both academic differentiated instruction and a student-focused classroom management structure. After all, human individuality is celebrated across cultures and historical times. This approach to classroom management provides reinforcement to differentiated instructional practices; however, if correctly implemented students will have a higher understanding of their value as individuals within a diverse community of learners. Critical thinking is developed within students through a variety of activities and group discussions. Students' questions should always be welcome, celebrated, and seen as a habit of intelligence rather than incapacity and student self-loathing.
In summary, the celebration of the individuality of each student's character and cognitive skills through the consistent implementation of research-based instructional practices are beneficial and enhance student learning, as well as self-value, and inclusive community development. Research in the fields of mind, brain, learning, and teaching provide a strong initial blueprint based on which educators can discover their own teaching and learning preferences. They have a pedagogical map to assist them on the amazing process of both instructional and identify and develop their own guiding them towards a better understanding of the uniqueness of their brain structure, a and learning preferences their academic experience through the implementation of both instructional and sociocultural learning environments that are free from peer judgment, student self-loathing, feeling unfit for asking questions, valuing themselves as lesser than their peers; instead, learning environments where the teacher provides opportunities to celebrate student individuality and foster student identification of the uniqueness of their brain, as well as how they construct their learning experiences. Of course, these skills will only be developed with time and consistency throughout a student's academic career; therefore, teacher collaboration is absolutely necessary if students are to retain the skills discussed in this writing.
When self-reflection, critical thinking, and individual acceptance are reinforced consistently through a daily choice guide students towards learning, rather than expecting them to act like parrots, who repeat information without true comprehension of text and/or the inability to apply their knowledge across academic subjects and when attempting to solve daily-life problem. Understanding of their own learning individualities takes place within the classroom, students can identify strategies that work best for their learning styles and become higher thinking learners. With time, they will be able to not only identify the way they learn best, but create their own strategies based on their own understanding of how they can best support their own learning.
This sense of an accepting community is absolutely vital for both academic and personal student success--especially for trauma-impacted students. A classroom community that understands that each student has individual needs for which the teacher provides with the understanding that there is no such thing as "one fits all" regarding education. This means that the teacher will use a f when they choose to disclose current child abuse or if they find themselves re-living their traumatic experiences due to emotional triggers present in every-day life. in these settings is to ensure the students' sense of safety. Within an open community, where students with PTSD and other behaviorally-challenging and/or of student individuality, safety, trust, student-lead, and teacher-guided reflective conversations management by providing the daily use of on practices that are student-focused, in which the use of differentiated instruction, as well as , with research-based on holistic educational practices. trauma-impacted students. Communities built in such a way have the potential to reach out to students who struggle with challenging behavior and classroom outbursts due to their inability to cope with trauma and deep emotions. in the classroom due to trauma to improve students' personal growth, learning outcomes, and diminish challenging outbursts. classroom students touched by trauma, violence, and abuse -impacted student the holistic approach to practices and student-focused learning communities are defining practices to facilitate life-long impactful education. Learning communities that are founded on a family-like and trust-based relationship structure are highly-successful holistic promoting trust among students and educators are unbelievably-powerful educational practice points for fruitful and; therefore, life-transforming learning experiences. Finally, it is vital to respectfully consider the world-view of both adults alike as well as educator-community are powerful ways to who may also present challenging behaviors within and out the classroom. The battle line is that children who experience high-poverty, with low educational & professional role models, as well as those who live with the weight of post traumatic stress disorder must be given individualized instruction, holistic resources, and purposefully-designed community enrichment opportunities. As educators, we can become channels of inspiration and facilitators of life transforming
Luciane Hawkins
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