P.S. I will purposefully interchange between the use of the first-person singular (I) and the first-person plural pronoun (we), as I write this reflection.
Long ago, I learned to embrace my scars…both, the many physical ones, I acquired in my fighting against cancer, and the emotional ones, from life battles. In youth, physical scars, at times, brought me shame and caused me to question my own value. As I age, and life becomes a part of me, I came to accept the differences (within me) between before pain and after pain…. Time, perspective, and an honest/personal reflection about how we coped and cope with difficult life events change how we perceive our scars. There is power on our daily choices! Our choice of outlook shapes the type of influence caused by each period of our lives, from our best moments to our deepest traumas.
As we come to understand the true meaning of our scars, we learn that each scar has a story of its own: a life lesson to never be forgotten. In our youth and in our darkest hours, many of us overlook or avoid facing our scars. Because of fear, we learn these life lessons much later in life. Many of us live a life where there is no time to waste. After leading a never-stopping lifestyle, at an old age, many wish to have learned such truths growing up, throughout various stages of life. Maturity opens our eyes to acceptance; it fills us with a need and a desire for personal growth. This growth provides us with a fresh way to perceive and to interpret life. The true value of our scars is often only understood with the passing of time and change of mindset towards the marks that time left behind.
The impact that scars have on our identity change over time. When we choose to face the fear of looking back, once again, at the worst seasons of our lives, the scars take new meanings. These are transformed, like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly! The deepest, most painful, and most difficult periods of our lives become sources of empowerment. Scars are not only reminders of a lifelong brushes with pain; they are landmarks of survival, growth, and even inspiration—if you choose it.
Although, my traumas and scars have a role on my present and future decisions, they do not dictate my future, as one of inevitable limitations and unchangeable outcomes. Little, among us, are aware and make purposeful use of the immense power that is present in our day-by-day decisions! Every day, we have a decision to make. We can either focus on the hardships of life, or we can apply the knowledge brought by pain to lead a life of hope, faith, and overcoming. The great news is that we can always find the undying spirit of fight, regardless of how overwhelming our circumstances might be! It depends on how we perceive ourselves, the life we once lived, and the life we are currently writing. Within this undying spirit of fight, there is a place of faith, where we believe that tomorrow holds better days, even greater than our most beloved moments thus far.
My scars no longer bring shame or mean weakness. They do not dictate a future that is defined by pain and trauma. Although, my scars will aways be a part of me, they do not govern who I am, where I will go, or what I will (or will not) achieve. My scars inspire my desire to help and impact the lives of others, who might be suffering like I did and being marked by scars like mine. Gratitude comes from bringing comfort to those who are suffering by sharing the stories told by my physical and emotional scars. I wish to help to those who reject their scars to exam and acceptance the beauty left by the battles of life. So, for this reason, I am grateful for my scars.
Lu Hawkins
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