Time is always in movement. The clock is clicking; it never stops—tic, tack, tic, tack, tic…. The only uncertainty regarding time is what you do with it. You are the variable. Your dreams, your choices, your fears, your personality, your character, your strength, your ability to think, reflect, and to change are what might define your future. Destiny, what is it? I dreamed of touching lives. I dreamed of inspiring people to believe in themselves and strike for the outstanding. I dreamed of accomplishing great things—whatever great things might be. I dreamed of writing. I dreamed of teaching. I dreamed of being the best I can possibly be, in whatever I do. I dreamed of abundance when there was nothing to eat. I dreamed of piece when the night was scary, while I watched my father’s dead body rest in his final bed. I dreamed of relationships when I was alone among hundreds. I dreamed of comfort when I was facing my father’s rare smile, as he was lying lifeless just a few days before Christmas. I dreamed of being strong when I was forced to grow up and become my mother’s mother—the emotional matriarch of the family. I dreamed of breaking free from the limitations of my environment. I dreamed of going to places I never visited before—physically, emotionally, and intellectually. I dreamed of life when I was facing death by cancer (twice). I dreamed of being a mother when I was told I should abort my baby to survive. I dreamed of a healthy body, while going through 19 surgeries. I dreamed. I overcame.
I was inspired by my father’s dreams and aspirations. He died trying. The fact that he failed at the end was quite scary, I confess. I witnessed his fight! I saw his living rollercoaster, a life filled of ups and downs—wealth and poverty, health and sickness, happiness and sadness. I was part of the ride. Like my father, I dreamed. The feeling I have when thinking about trying to achieve my dreams but failing is one of fear. It scares me that sometimes it does not matter how much I might want or how hard I might work; I still might fail. I witnessed this struggle; however, I cannot stop myself from being unsatisfied with a life without a purpose. I cannot stop believing that there is more to life than a fast-pacing routine—just a job to finish or simply a way to provide for the family, day after day. I want more! I want to get up every morning knowing that what I do matters! I want to express my creativity! I want to communicate with people from different cultures! I want to challenge my intellect and my physical limitations! I want to grow! I have not been stopped by fear thus far, and I will not! This is the decision I chose to make every morning.
What scares you the most? I ask myself. “Time and fear of failure,” I respond. Time is inevitable. We don’t know how much time is left. Time is also relative to each person. My age and my personal experiences influence my perception of time. It might pass slower or faster in comparison to others. Time for me, however, means opportunity and life. Every day we are given the opportunity to do great things (once again, whatever great things might mean to you) and to live a meaningful life. In my perspective, it would be better to live one powerful month than one empty year. Fear is a person’s greatest enemy. Fear can stop personal growth; fear can stop life from being meaningful. Fear is the worst disability a person can face—one that only the person himself/herself can overcome. When you believe that you can, you fight for your dreams. You might face horrible obstacles, but you do not accept to succumb to pain, difficulties, or even to what might seem impossible. You might fall, but you will get up…again and again. You keep trying—one day at a time, because you just believe that your dreams are supposed to become your reality. Great dreams are not made of a few gran actions and achievements. Great dreams are made of thousands of painful choices. Great dreams are made of faith inspired “YES” when reality screams loudly at you, “NO! Great dreamers are those who take themselves a step further when strength seems nonexistent. Great dreamers go beyond hoping, they plan, and they act.
Take time to think. Take a time and look at the mirror. What do you see? Is the mirror reflecting the person you once dreamed to become? Where do you want to go? Do you still see the dreamer you used to be? What do you want to become? What do you need to do to get there? Is it too hard? Is it too painful? Will it take too much work? Maybe, it would take too many sacrifices—money, time, or physical pain? Will you have to say NO to things you normally say yes? Who are you? What is worthy to you?!
Do you want something so much that it paralyzes you? Why are you afraid of starting? The journey might seem long and exhausting but remember…time never stops! It will pass even if you do not start working towards your dreams. A college degree, for example, can take thousands of hard-working hours, too much money, and a lot of sacrifices…it might feel like it would take too long. Remember though, four years will pass if you go to college or if you choose not to go. If you choose to overcome your fears, however, at the end of the four years you will have a diploma in your hands. The choice is yours! It is not supposed to be easy. The feeling of accomplishment is beyond explanation when you know the challenges you had to overcome to achieve your dreams. For me, it took 17 years not giving up, so I could be here today holding my college degree. I believed I could. When I wanted to cry…I often did, but I was not defined by my pain, fears, or struggles. Not by cancer. Not by poverty. Not by the pain of losing my father. I looked above the circumstances and kept moving forward.
Dear reader, I would like for you to consider your life as an endless journey. When you arrive at your destination, get ready to start another adventure…because this is life, and you should never stop dreaming! Do not forget to look at the clock every now and then…just to remind yourself that time is clicking. My question for you is, what are you going to do about it?” Tic, tack, tic, tack, tic…
P.S. I dedicate this reflection to my father. Thank you, dad, for teaching me to never give up! Thank you for trying nonstop even when life hit you with so much pain and suffering. You were truly an inspiration to me…you influenced the person I am today! I love you. I wish you were here for my graduation. It was only possible because of the sacrifices you made so I could receive a good education.
Love,
Lu Hawkins
Add comment
Comments